Rachael Scharrer, relationship and divorce expert and wellness advocate, shares a great gift that her mother gave her in childhood. It was a powerful phrase that helped her feel stronger having it in her arsenal. Rachael tells her story:
Peer pressure is tough. For some children, standing up to their friends and holding firm to what is right can be incredibly difficult. These children may feel like they are the only one against many – they may feel like the odd-one-out.
It is our mission as parents to raise our children with the right values, the right morals and a strong compass to do good. We can only hope that in our absence, that they make the best decisions possible in every possible situation.
However, what happens when their resolve wears thin?
What can your child do next?
My mother knew I moved in a crowd that was a little wayward and occasionally questionable. She also knew that she wasn’t able to control and protect me in every moment that I was away from her. She did, however, give me the gift of one powerful phrase.
It is a phrase that I offer my children today.
Tweens today are so much more advanced and exposed than I was decades before. The rise of accessible internet using iphones, ipads and our TVs has created a generation of ‘on demand’ children. They want what they want when they want it and they expect to receive it.
Equally, when children are with their friends, they also (on the whole) expect to get what they want – even if it is having their peer doing the wrong thing.
Children (and even adults) can get caught up in the moment and forget to rationalise before they do it.
How can you help your child by remote? One simple phrase can do the trick. One phrase can give them the confidence to keep their moral compass pointing north.
My mother gave me cart-blanch to use the phrase “my mum said no” or “my mother won’t let me” regardless of whether I had spoken to her or not. These words allowed me to strengthen my resolve and boost my confidence.
My mother gave me a precious gift, that I have given to my children and I will forever reinforce that they can blame anything on me. As a parent, I don’t care if other children aren’t happy with my decisions and I don’t mind if other parents don’t like my decisions. What matters most to me is that my child is safe, healthy and happy. If they know that they can rely on me, that I will always have their back and their best interests at all time.
In an age where children are taking more risks, exposed to more information and are continuously receiving what they want on demand, the more imperative it is that parents have to empower their children. You can offer your child the skills and confidence to do what is right for their conscience, the community with a simple phrase. Your child can remain in-line with the family boundaries and limitations by simply knowing that their parent has their back even when they aren’t standing beside them.
